5/4/08

Gruss Gott to all you snow bunnies and wacko spackos

Well, we are currently in Innsbruck, Austria which is the famous winter Olympics town in the Austrian Tyrolean Alps, and yesterday in the ski village of Kuttai, I had one of the most spastic, lamearse, limb threatening snowboarding accidents EVER!!!

Now I had always imagined that my first ever limb threatening snowboard accident would be this TOTALLY AWESOME snowboard jump off a 200m cliff over 7 helicopters… while dodging KGB hitmen on snowmobiles AND outrunning an avalanche!!!

However, all my romantic dreams of having an amazing snowboard stack were COMPLETELY trashed when… Holy cow… I …er… um… simply fell 3m off a chairlift… flat on my face!!!

….FECK!!!!!!!!

Now for those of you who have never snowboarded, basically you get on a chairlift with your left foot strapped in on the front binder of the board, while your right back foot just dangles free.

Then as you are approaching the get off area, you need to angle your body sideways to get the board pointing straight ahead with your left foot forward and your right butt sitting on the chair so you can simply slide off the chair when you arrive… and of course you need to hold onto something so that you don’t topple off. Continue reading →

2/4/08

…2 John’s 1 Cup…

Gruss Gott to all you movers, groovers and other furry animals

Well I am currently in sitting in a crappy hotel in Munich in a cranky pants mood since today we rented a car to drive through the Bavarian Alps to go up to Zugspitze the highest mountain in Germany… but all we saw for 8 hours was the inside of a FRIGGIN cloud!!! In fact, we were driving through the Alps for most of the time and didn’t even know it since the visibility was so fecking s’hitty… FECK!!!

And the thing that p’isses me off the most, is that it’s been like this for the last 3 weeks that we have been in Europe… and doesn’t look like it will clear anytime soon!!! …AAAAAAARGH!!! F’ECKIN European weather…!!!

Anyways, I’ve been on an Eastern European road trip for the last week and a bit, with 2 mates JC and Greco, and we’ve been travelling from Poland to Berlin via Slovakia, Budapest, Dresden and Prague… And honestly, the weather has been so friggin AWFUL, that it has seriously ruined what could have been a great holiday!!!

Now as most of you know, one of my many superpowers is to whinge and complain like a cranky old man, and yet be as immature as a 12 year old kid… But fortunately I have been travelling with 2 mates who totally put me to shame…

JC was probably born a cranky old man, or bitten by a radioactive cranky old man or some s’hit like that… and hence he has whinging superpowers by far greater than my own… And then there is Greco who has the amazing superpower to come up with immature toilet humour in any given situation but due to having congenital cranky bowel syndrome, every joke comes out as a scratch and sniff variety…

So even though the weather has been sh’ite we’ve basically b’itched, moaned, complained, p’erved, giggled and f’arted our way across Eastern Europe… which actually has been fun!!! In fact I’ve never had so much fun whinging and complaining… which is why instead of writing a nice travel blog, I’m totally going to have a moan! Continue reading →