22/6/98

Hi there chicos and chicatitas

Well we left Cusco with a bad taste in our bottoms…

I had the guinea pig for dinner and yes it tastes like chicken although they could have given me a roasted rat and I wouldn’t have known the difference… It looked the same as a rat and was served whole with heart, intestines etc hanging out!!! …and yes there was a horrible expression on its face!

Anyway, I got diarrhea big time… (wasn’t sure if it was the jalapenos but we’ll blame the guinea pig for anecdotal sake). Pooed my pants for the first time since I was a kid, so I was very impressed. They say that your sense of smell is the most powerful way to trigger your memory, but a warm gooshy feeling does the trick just as well!!!

For those of you in the know… that explains why Avril did Operation Shit-Scared and not me.

Anyway after Cusco we went to Arequipa in southern Peru. Around Arepquipa is the Colca Canyon which is supposed to be the deepest Canyon in the world, but really it wasn’t that impressive… however, there are big condors there which are as big as a very big thing that looks very big, and that fly less than 5m over your head… very impressive.

Also from Arequipa we went to Toro Muerto a field of huge rocks over 3km which are covered in over 2000 petroglyph drawings up to 3000 years old. It was very very impressive as several generations of people over 1000 years had added to the drawings so walking along the line of rocks was like stepping back into several different time periods. It was also way cool since the desert was very spooky and looked exactly like Tatooine on Star Wars just before Luke met Obi-wan Kenobi. Continue reading →

11/6/98

Re: Operation Shit Scared…

Yes it’s all true for all you doubting Thomases.

Sometimes even sweet little old hamsters like us have to resort to desperate measures.

And unfortunately when we arrived in Lima we found a beautiful cheap hostal, but the SAME Israelis had beat us to it and once again they filled the place… To make things worse the hostal was dorm rooms so we actually had to share a room with some of the same people.

It was pretty funny as we shat ourselves in case they recognised us.

We were preparing for retaliation and spent a few bowel motions in underground bunkers firing off the odd missile test or two… but in the end we opted to leave for a more expensive hostal.

We were however very pissed off so we decided to plant some mines… Continue reading →

5/6/98

OPERATION SHIT SCARED

BACKGROUND……

Last week agent Ced and agent Avril found themselves staying at a certain hostal in Cusco… unfortunately they also found themselves to be the only non-israeli tourists there… the whole place was full of israeli tourists, in fact the whole of cusco was like little Tel Aviv.

Now those of you travelling in South America will know all about them, but for the rest a quick explanation…

Israelis travel en-mass through-out South America after finishing army service and most of them are about 22 and after 3 years of carrying guns are extremely arrogant and treat the whole of South America like their after-college party… hence they are extremely rude and obnoxious in the large groups in which they travel and unfortunately outnumber all other tourists by about 10 to 1…

On their own they are fine, but in big groups all other tourists hate them and try and avoid staying at the same hostals as them…

THE SITUATION….

Agents Ced and Avril had to catch a 0600hrs bus to Arequipa which is 13 hours and very bumpy…. they were trying to get a good nights sleep when all of a sudden a large group of Israeli tourists arrived in a taxi at 0400hrs… as expected they were yelling at the top of their voices and laughing at each other.

After about 30 minutes agent Avril yelled for them to “shut the fuck up!” To which they laughed at us and continued loudly until 0530hrs… a whole hour and a half….

Such impunity could not go unpunished and hence agents Ced and Avril unanimously agreed to initiate OPERATION SHIT-SCARED…. Continue reading →